March 24, 2013

you do not air your dirty laundry in public.

I felt like watching some trashy TV on netflix, so I started watching Army Wives.

It's surprisingly hard to watch, actually. A lot of it is way overdone and ridiculous but there are some awfully realistic scenes. Basically anything doing with deployment really hits home right now. I know for Ax and I it's different, and it's different because we're Navy and not Army.

But I'll be damned if I haven't had some tear-filled moments.  And not many things make me cry.

I really miss Ax. It's only a few more months. I can do this. I will not quit or let it get the best of me.

Simon is currently sleeping with his nose smooshed into my thigh and keeps giving me a dirty look because he can't breathe. aaaannnddd he just farted. gross. ughhh.

I am trying to repair my mom's raggedy ann doll that her foster dog...ah...mugged. Poor Ms. Ann was decapitated and then lost half her face. Her dress was also torn, but it's so shredded I can't fix it. New fabric is on the way to make her a new dress. I'm kind of excited--I've never made any kind of clothing before! I'm still a bit apprehensive about giving Ms. Ann a new face. The original face was embroidered, and I've never done that either. Good thing I have a ton of muslin to work with. haa.

Other than that, not too much is happening around here. It rained for a solid 36 hours, which is...interesting. I have never seen it rain that hard for that long.

Time for some tea and then more puppy cuddles. as long as Simon doesn't fart more. p.u.!

March 20, 2013

Some rambling thoughts.

So I'm taking this writing class on I've come to realize I'm probably not as good of a writer as I like to think I am. My writing abilities are something I've always taken pride in, and now that the pride in those abilities is shaken I don't really know what to do.

Once again, the lack of gainful employment is leaving me in doubt about my worth in this world. Gotta love those mini life-crises...

Humpf. If Ax was here I probably wouldn't feel so shitty about it all. But he's not, so I just gotta pick myself up and carry on. I will allow this as a pity party day. What I will not allow is emotional eating. I can have all the tea I want, but there will be NO emotional eating. Not even allowing vegetables for emotional eating. I HAVE to break that habit.

On an unrelated note:

I can't believe it's almost April. Where has March gone? In fact, where did 2012 and the beginning of 2013 go?? Dear time, please slow down. I'm trying to keep up but you're moving faster than I am!

I kind of fell off the diet/exercise bandwagon. Today, as mentioned, is my pity party. Tomorrow I will get back to my calorie counting / primal diet habits and do some kind of workout. I haven't really gained any weight but I do feel sluggish and sad more than when I was working out every other day.

The FRG meeting last night was interesting. It was my first meeting, so I didn't really know what to expect. I signed up for the homecoming committee...I would have volunteered to be the head of the committee but I feel like I'm not quite qualified since this will be my first homecoming. We'll see what happens, I suppose. I added a few of the women on facebook. Now maybe I can actually make some friends instead of just seeing them at events and meetings.

April's meeting has a make it / bake it / fake it thing, which is an auction of sorts. I'm trying to decide what to make. I have just about a month to put something together. Hmmmmmmm.

With that, now I'm gonna go make tea and watch cartoons. Because I'm mature like that. Yep. Simon will continue to whine that he's not allowed out while it's raining.

March 17, 2013

I'm just too far, from where you are...

Hmm...where to begin today.

Well, Ax called again this morning and wanted to know if we could have a "wedding" when we go back to WI for the holidays. It's starting to creep me out how much we're thinking alike while he's gone. First similar dreams, now this? What on earth is deployment doing to us? haha. :)

So I spent a lot of today on looking at stuff. My problem right now is I have TOO MANY ideas! I have settled on colors: navy blue (ish, I don't want true Navy blue!) and champagne. I wanted to stay away from the "traditional" reds and greens that come with winter weddings. I also didn't want to go too loud with the colors, hence the navy blue -- it's still "appropriate" for the season without being too christmasy. 

Ax's sister is helping me compile a guest list for their mom's side of the family. With Italians, there's going to be A LOT--there's several I haven't met and I don't want them to feel left out. Even if they can't make it, at least they were invited. My mom is helping with my family, and I know most of Ax's dad's side already so that's pretty easy. When Ax calls next we need to hash out the date. Right now I picked 12/28 but to be honest I have no idea what day of the week that is. ha. 

Outside of that, I'm still working on Ax's anchor quilt. Simon and I do a few blocks each night while we watch Netflix (currently going through American Dad, already did all of South Park and Family Guy). Simon and I went for a four-mile walk just a little bit ago, he's finally, FINALLY pooped out and laying down in his crate. 

I have a job interview tomorrow! I am excited at the possibility of getting back into the workforce. Right now I'm doing my nails so they look nice for tomorrow--green, of course, for st. paddy's day! 

I'm also incredibly disappointed that they're getting rid of Google Reader. Whyyyyyyyyy? I love my Reader! It's how I visit everyone's blog at once! hnnn. Guess I'll start looking at alternatives...sigh.

And with that, off to finish my nails. Then perhaps relax with a small drankkk for the holiday. :)

March 10, 2013

A quiet Sunday...

This diet thing is proving much harder than I anticipated. The first week I focused on meeting my caloric intake goals. That in and of itself wasn't too hard. The LoseIt! app has a barcode scanner so adding to my food diary is super easy. It had an update the other day and part of it included a little pie graph of proteins/carbs/fats for each day. I eat WAY, WAY too many carbs and not nearly enough protein.

The next step in this journey is to bump up the protein intake while lowering the carbs. The fats are kind of steady and aren't overwhelming the protein intake in the pie graphs. I think I'm doing okay there, so for now I'm not going to worry about them. Protein, though...yeesh. Definitely need to work on eating more protein!!

On top of the diet, I'm upping my workouts as well. I TRIED to use a couple videos I found on youtube, but of course they have to buffer for what seems like hours before I can play them on the PS3/tv. Almost isn't even worth it. So instead I'll keep doing the 30 day shred program and then add in more outside exercise--I've considered doing Couch 2 5K, but I think I need to find a better pair of running shoes. My current pair are pretty old and ratty--I can barely even do the 30 day shred workouts in them because the treads are nearly gone and there's not much support for my feets left. In fact, the only muscles that are painfully sore the day after are the muscles in my feet/ankle areas.

For now Simon and I will take either longer walks or go for more walks each day. I'm going to drink more water (with lemon, om nom), find a way to eat more protein and veggies (cheap calories but super filling), and start doing my shredding every day instead of every other day. I eased myself into the program, now it's time to actually put all of my effort into each workout.

I still need to find a scale. The walmart here didn't have a single one. I searched the ENTIRE store! wtf. So either Kmart or Amazon is the next place to look.

I did have a cheat day yesterday as some of the FRG girls and I went to dinner at a local joint called Sharkbite. I allowed it because 1) I needed some social interaction and 2) I hardly ever go out to eat, period--even before the diet! I tried to make some halfway decent choices but I'm sure it failed miserably. Sharkbite isn't the healthiest place on earth. :P

Still waiting to hear back about some jobs I applied for....I think that will help me control my eating habits when I get a job. Sometimes I eat when I'm bored or sad--I've been trying to drink water (or a capri sun, they're only 35 calories per pouch) instead of eating but I'm sure you can relate to how well that's been

So now I'm going to get some water and some lemon juice to squeeze in, and maybe read a book. I'm not really sure. I don't want to squander the beautiful day but Simon and I already had an hour-long walk today. He's pretty pooped out! So maybe some "sunbathing" in the yard is just what we need.

March 8, 2013

Project planning!

Oh man, a back-to-back update! Holy sheeit man!

I applied for a couple jobs today. There's only one I really expect to hear back from, and even that is only because I got the impression that they had very few people apply. We'll see what happens, I guess.  A part-time job in the city we live in would be PERFECT. It's not too far of a drive (so gas won't be an issue), I could finally contribute to my little family, and I'd still have time with Ax once he's home from deployment.

After job-hunting, I spent entirely too much money at the commissary. I got hungry halfway through shopping and brought home a bunch of crap I really didn't need. In theory that means next week will be cheaper since I've already stocked up on some stuff. I guess in the end it all balances out.

I ordered some more fabric today! Two scrap baggies and a charm pack of baby motifs for Ax's cousin who is having a baby in October. I figure it'd make a good christmas gift for her and the baby. Then I set to work on organizing the charm packs I've already got...I have one charm pack that is black/white/gray. I'm gonna make a lap size quilt with it and frame the blocks with some bright red to really make it pop. I'm not sure if I'm going to sell it or give it as a gift. Shit, I just gotta put it together before I can figure out what to do with it!

Both my sister-in-law and my half-sister-in-law are getting lap quilts for christmas as well. I've picked out a pattern for each girl, and I'm going to start gathering the fabrics I'll need slowly but surely. I figure that in order to have them done for christmas I'm going to need everything gathered by June, since I hand-quilt my blankets.

Ax's big anchor quilt is coming along slowly but surely. I do a couple blocks every night. Right now it's just a quarter-block, with the stitching about a quarter-inch from each seam. I haven't decided if I'm going to do more with it after that or not.

On a different note, if you ever get a chance to read the Reacher series by Lee Child, DO IT. I finished the first one, Killing Floor, this morning. It was awesome! He uses the word "nosed" too much in reference to cars pulling out of a parking lot or off a street, but otherwise I think he's an excellent writer.

I was naughty with my diet and exercise today--it was supposed to be a shred day, and I didn't do it. Then I ate way over my allowed calories for the day. Shame on me! Tomorrow I'll do a shred and maybe another workout from youtube or something. I'm supposed to go to dinner with the FRG at a local place called Sharkbite, so we'll see what I can order there that's reasonably healthy. I expect to have an off day every once in a sense in getting upset about it.

Now I'm gonna go fill in today's happenings in the little deployment journal I've started while Ax is gone, then grab a new book to read and go to bed. I haven't been sleeping well the last couple nights, so reading is a good way to "rest" without being bored out of my skull when I can't sleep.