Deployments and owies.

I think this upcoming deployment is starting to get me anxious. I lack motivation, just want to sleep, my heart acts up (I have a heart condition), etc. I'm not so much stressed about Ax actually being gone. More stressed about thinking about everything that could go wrong while he's gone. Which is strange because I have POA and can get stuff done on his behalf. So idk.

It doesn't help that I seriously sliced my finger on a rotary cutter over the weekend. No stitches, thankfully. I was cutting some backing fabric for a stupid little project (ugliest doll quilt I could come up with...LOL) when the cutter jumped and sliced my middle finger. I felt the cut and calmly walked to the bathroom with my palm cupping underneath my middle finger. All I said was "well, that's not good" and Ax was up and running to me with the first aid kit. Strangely, the sight of my own blood made me puke. Blood and gore -- mine or anyone else's -- generally doesn't bother me. We just assume that I scared myself sick. Ax was understandably concerned about how I would have handled that if I was home alone. I probably could have taken care of it without much difficulty. And if I couldn't have gotten the bleeding to stop, I would have gone next door and asked for a ride to an urgent care or ER. The neighbors kinda look out for us since we're new here; I'm sure they would have given me a ride no questions asked. Just the way I sliced my finger would have made driving myself dangerous and really difficult.

I sliced not only the "meat" of my finger, but into the nail as well. I'm hoping it heals enough by our anniversary that I can paint it along with the rest of my nails. If not...well, then I'll use a bandaid so it doesn't look so damned silly.

My finger is extremely sore (I can't type with it, too much pressure on the owie), still a bit weepy when the scabs come off from hand washing or showers, but it doesn't look infected which is good. After my showers I've been taking a qtip doused in peroxide and gently swabbing it to keep it clean. It's kind of funny to look at; compared to my other middle finger there is a giant flat spot on the injured one.


This is not the first time I've seriously cut myself; back in high school I wrecked my left index finger on a mandolin slicer. It took almost four years for the fingerprint to grow back. And if you poke at it some days, I have no feeling in the fingertip. hahaha.

I am extremely lucky I didn't do more damage with the rotary cutter. There was a post on reddit.com a while back of a woman who lost about half her finger (vertically speaking) from one. These things are INCREDIBLY sharp. Be careful out there, crafters!